Tatsumake (it means tornado in Japanese and no, I didn't name him) AKA "Tatsu" AKA "Taz" AKA "Big Boy" AKA "Is that cat part raccoon?" is in charge of paperweighting and maintaining a clutter-free work area. He accomplishes this by frequently knocking pens, pencils, notebooks, post-its, flash drives, and other 'irrelevant' items onto the floor. He has a fondness for licking things, including (but not limited to) laptops, cell phones, cicadas, dirty dishes, and hot lightbulbs.
Mufasa AKA "Moo Moo" AKA "Moo Shu" AKA "Moo Shu Pork" AKA "Sleek" is responsible for chair warming and random outbursts of gutteral wailing (though I contribute my own howling occasionally, especially during revisions.) He enjoys ingesting inappropriate items, including (but not limited to) Doritos, dust bunnies, ziplock bags, packing tape and a frighteningly large corner of my shower curtain.